Me & Sweet Pea

New Blog!

2008-07-19T15:01:00.004-05:00

Since this blog has become more of a family blog, Me & Sweet Pea didn't seem to be an appropriate title anymore, so we started a new blog. It's called Babies For The Win! Please check it out.

Trapped!

2008-07-07T19:37:00.007-05:00

Just a few minutes ago, Mama and Dada were helping Mia drift off to sleep in the nursery. I think that Mia is starting another teething cycle, as while Mia and I were taking a bath after dinner as part of our bedtime ritual, she was leaking drool like a sieve. The second time Mia chomped down on the boob, Mama asked me to get the sippy cup with Milk in it, so Mia could chomp, suck, and drink to her little heart's content.

So I go to the nursery door and try to open it.

The knob just spins.

I take a step back and doublecheck. Yep, that knob is just spinning. Nothing gripping inside, no catching, just free spin.

Okay. What to do?

If I put pressure on the knob in a certain angle, does it catch and spin the rod that connects the outside door knob to the inside? Nope.

If I jiggle the door a bit can I compress it enough to catch the edges of the inter-knob-rod? Nope.

Where are the screws facing? We're in luck- they face into the nursery.

Can I bash down the door? Probably, but too noisy. So, that's check in the Nope column (for now.)

Whenever situations appear insurmountable, I look for a tool (sometimes it's a hammer.)

I know that if I can get the knob off of this side, I can use my fingers to turn the connecting rod and voila, we can escape. But how to get the knob off?

I look around the nursery- pretty innocuous stuff. The hook I hung up the fish mobile with.. nope. A folded piece of stiff paper... nope. The plastic edge of a babyproofing latch... nope. The nubby tip of a safety scissor used to trim Mia's nails... maybe... testing... eureka!

Mia is being nursed to sleep about three feet away as I slowly use the tip of a single safety scissor blade to unscrew (a quarter turn each time) the phillips head screws that hold the inside door knob to the outer knob. Inevitable clicks occur as I test how far the screw has come out, and as I have to adjust the length of the screw against the knob faceplate, so that I can keep unscrewing.

I finally back the last few twists of the screws off with my fingers. Mia is sleeping, as they say, like a baby. My initial diagnosis was correct- the connecting rod (this one, like most, is square shaped) is shorter than the total distance between the full length of the rod sticking inside of the hallway-side knob.

Using my fingers, I twist the rod and the door pops open. I do a silent dance of joy. I go get the sippy cup, but when I return, Mia is completely out.

The rod, if it slides as far as it can go into the hallway-side knob, isn't long enough to catch the inside edges of the nursery-side knob. This is typical of door handles that are cheap, and generic. The nicer handles have longer rods, or really long rods that the manufacturer just expects you to cut to length.

I slide the rod out, and stick one side into the nursery-side knob and give it a good pounding against the carpet floor, to firmly stick it into this side of the door. I slide it back up into place on the door and it has plenty of reach to turn the opposite knob. Score!

A minute or so of careful, quiet screwing and the knob is back in place. Turning the knob opens the door, success!

I don't think I could have climbed through the window and not woken Mia, and kicking the door down would have been even noisier (not to mention more destructive.)

All in all a successful rescue-the-severn-clan operation.

Being a bit overcareful, I then walked around the house and checked every knob for traps.

happy funtime swing in Zilker!

2008-07-06T17:48:00.004-05:00

Joy!

Glee!

Giggles!

Happiness!

Mia is swinging and laughing in Zilker Park.

Jennifer and I have been strolling Mia around Town Lake on the weekend, getting some exercise into the Mama and Dada Experience ®.

On the way we've seen swans, wood ducks, swarms of swimming turtles, lost turtles on the trail, met lots of friendly puppies, and talked to a stranger about his awesome Chariot stroller. I'd like to hitch one up to my Hookooekoo and bike about.

Job Week

2008-05-22T18:49:00.003-05:00

It's been a hard week. Arguably, the hardest week of my life. After being a stay-at-home mom for the last year, I started a new job this week. Leaving my baby girl with even the best caretakers I could ask for has been the hardest thing I've ever done.

There have been a lot of tears. I started crying when I said goodbye to her on Monday morning. On Monday evening when I had to put her to bed an hour after I got home I locked myself in the bedroom and sobbed. Tuesday morning I cried. Wednesday morning I cried. Wednesday afternoon I cried because I could tell that she had grown while I was gone and because she is so beautiful.

And the job is going to be tough. The pace is fast and we don't get many breaks. Today we didn't get a chance to eat lunch until 2. I thought I was going to pass out from the hunger. But I'm grateful for it. When I'm not furiously working, I miss my baby girl so much I can hardly stand it.

I know that Tom is having a hard time understanding why this is so hard for me. He's always been away from her during the day. But for me, she has been my 24-7 job for the past 13 months. My law school friends have been asking me when I was going to get a job since she was three months old. For them, 13 months at home must seem ridiculous. But for me, even that doesn't seem like enough. She is still growing so fast and learning new things every minute. Every day she changes. Even I could not have predicted how difficult this would be for me.

Our Wedding

2008-05-16T13:24:00.003-05:00

Many times in the months we were planning the wedding I said to Tom, "Why are we doing this? It's so expensive. It's so much work. Weddings are not for people with babies. I can't deal with this. You're the one that wanted this. Not me!"

Each time he would assure me that 20 years from now I'd be glad that we had a wedding and that I would regret it if we didn't.

Well, he was right. It isn't even 20 years later and I'm already glad.

As far as weddings go, I think it was fairly drama-free. To the best of my knowledge I did not piss off any of my friends as a result of it and I'm not pissed off at any of my friends. Quite the opposite. I was astonished by the generosity of all of our friends in pulling this wedding together. Since we were working with a relatively small budget, we were responsible for set up and clean up. One of our friends, Beth, took charge of coordination and assembled a crew of friends to do everything. We had friends making signs, picking up the flowers, setting up all the tables and decorations at the Zilker Clubhouse, picking up the keg, running the margarita machine, officiating the ceremony, cutting the cake and cleaning everything up at the end of the night. This wedding would not have happened the way it did without our amazing friends.

And I'm so grateful to my parents who paid for the majority of the wedding and threw our rehearsal dinner. They were so patient with me through all of the planning. They took on this wedding as their project and put so much time into helping me research cakes, flowers, napkins, plates, food, etc. Not to mention eating Paella for weeks in order to perfect the recipe for the rehearsal dinner.

Being a bride was awesome. And a lot like being hugely pregnant. Just like with a big belly, it's hard to be inconspicuous in a wedding dress. Everyone smiles at you, is extra nice to you and expects you to be a little crazy. It was the most amazing experience that I'll gladly never repeat.

And at the end of the night, I got to go spend the night at the Driskill Hotel with the love of my life, my husband. It was our first and only night without Mia. While it was very nice to have some alone grown up time, we both kept waking up every couple of hours wondering if she was awake. We probably won't do that again anytime soon. Honeymoon will have to wait awhile.

But for now, I am so happily married! I love saying "my husband." I love filling out forms and checking the "married" box. I love our little family.

Hail?

2008-05-10T19:34:00.003-05:00

Tom said that it was extra-hard to get Mia to go to sleep because of the golf-ball-sized hail that started hitting our roof about 20 minutes ago. It's currently 84 degrees outside. So weird.

File Under: Things I learned as a parent

2008-05-09T12:58:00.003-05:00

Welcome to a parental secret!

For all of you non-parents out there, I have a secret to share with you.

This is known, I'm almost certain, by anyone who has had to change diapers on a regular basis. There is only one substance on the planet that can be used to clean anything. It's not CLR. Nor a as-seen-on-TV miracle. No matter how dirty.

What is this miracle substance that can clean your bathroom sink? This supernatural thing that cleans the floor, the stove, the kitchen countertop? The secret that parents use to clean anything messy, or just plain dirty, such as car tires and rims?

What is this secret thing? Dear god tell us, I need to clean X and Y, and I don't know how?

Baby wipes.

Long after our babies are out of diapers, have been potty trained and never miss a bathroom break, baby wipes will be a staple of our household. THEY CLEAN EVERYTHING. SRLY. I'm not sure if it's specific to a single brand, or if all baby wipes can clean your mirrors, floors, ceilings, ceiling fans, countertops, car rims, steering wheels... everything.

A fiery exit!

2008-05-05T09:02:00.002-05:00

CIMG3441.JPG
Originally uploaded by Sektormedia

Joy joy joy joy joy joy joy joy joy joy joy joy joy joy joy fire!

What an amazing night for my awesome wife and family! I don't think any of us got much sleep, but it was more than worth it (when Nana was asked how Mia slept, she said, "Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies.")

Finally my dream girl is my wife! Forever!

There are so many excellent pictures from the wedding (Cecily totally beat me to the punch with her post below!) From all reports everyone had fun at the party celebrating our marriage. I'm so happy that some of our closest friends and family were able to attend, witness, and dance into the night.

In this picture, I thought I was walking quickly, but Jennifer was afraid she was going to burst into flames (her thoughts were... OMG... run! run! run!)

I'll do my best not to overload the blog with gushing and wedding pictures and happiness and and and... joy.

Wedding Day Photos

2008-05-04T22:53:00.001-05:00

I wasn't officially allowed to take photos, but I managed to have my camera out for about 20 minutes and I grabbed a few.

Tiny Dancer

2008-05-01T19:21:00.003-05:00

It's been a super busy week with the wedding coming up, but I wanted to report on Mia's 12 month check-up. She weighs 17 pounds, 9 ounces and is 27.5 inches long. This means it's going to be awhile until we can put her in a forward-facing car seat. The pediatrician isn't at all concerned about her size since she's height/weight proportionate.

We decided to hold off on the MMR vaccination. We're going to wait at least until 18 months. After that, we'll make a decision.

Mia's Birthday Party Photos

2008-04-25T08:21:00.003-05:00

Guild Lunch

2008-04-18T15:43:00.004-05:00

Guild Lunch, originally uploaded by Yogini Jen.

Here we are at our weekly WoW guild lunch. There are actually a lot more people than you can see. There is a second row of tables in the sun. We were also 30 minutes late because Mia took a hour and a half long nap! We know the cardinal rule of parenting: NEVER WAKE A SLEEPING BABY. We had some delicious adult time while she was napping.

In this picture, Tom is saying that 0/21/40 destruction is the best Warlock raiding spec once you reach the hit cap of 202. Of course for PvP, he argues, sl/sl = win. Mia disagrees, asserting that affliction is the best spec due the devastating combination of DoTs and high mobility.

Happy Birthday, Mia!

2008-04-17T22:09:00.011-05:00

Today was a pretty low key birthday. The real celebrating will occur on
Saturday when we'll be having Mia's first birthday party. We're all
super excited.

She started off the day with a little cereal.

Then we did some laundry.

Later we hung out with Ravyn and Sufyan for a little while. Afterwards, Nana and Papa came over and took us to dinner at Central Market.

After dinner, Papa helped Mia with the slide.

At home we had some snuggle time with Daddy and then it was bedtime. It was a good day.

Canada. oh, canada. ugh, canada...

2008-04-17T16:33:00.004-05:00

Today, on Mia's first birthday, I found out for certain that Apple is sending me off to Canada for almost a week... 4 days? Maybe 5 days. From the morning of the 21st to the late evening of the 24th or early morning of the 25th. Now I have to create from scratch 4 training sessions each 3 hours long... wee. >< /sadface

When Apple approached me about this project, the projected timeframe was the 1st week of April. Schedules, deadlines, and other messes slipped and now it's the week before the week of my wedding. I'm sure the timing could be worse, but not by much.

So! If you're in Austin (or even if you're not), take some time and drop my lovely wife-to-be a line. I don't want Jennifer to get lonely while I'm off serving the Corporate Masters, and being mommy is hard when daddy isn't around. And sometimes even when daddy is around.

At least I get to be in town for Mia's birthday! and her party! For that, I am happy, and very excited.

One year ago

2008-04-16T22:50:00.003-05:00

I'm trying to remember exactly what was happening at this time one year ago. I was at the birthing center. I was in labor. When I had arrived in the afternoon the midwife told me that I should be having my baby by midnight. At 11 o'clock I wasn't even close. It's amazing how quickly I have forgotten the details. I remember that it took a long time.

I have several theories as to why it took so long. They all might be true. One of them is that I didn't really believe that I was having a baby. I just couldn't picture it. I never had imagined myself pregnant. I had imagined myself becoming a mother but I never imagined giving birth to a baby. I just couldn't visualize it. Yeah, I was huge and I'd seen the ultrasounds. I felt the kicking. It wasn't rational.

There were two midwives attending my birth. I felt like they were watching me waiting for something to happen. I was watching them waiting for something to happen. I hadn't realized that I was going to have to make it happen.

I don't know if I could have done it on my own. After the first two midwives had given up on me and the two older, more experienced midwives arrived, took control of the situation and finally made something happen, I was shocked to discover that there actually was a baby. Shocked. I stared at her in utter disbelief. That beautiful being came from me? Is that possible?

And I fell in love for the first time in my life. Instantly. My entire world in one seven pound, ten ounce bundle. Suddenly, everything was different.

Laundry Day

2008-04-16T20:02:00.007-05:00

photo.jpg, originally uploaded by Yogini Jen.

Tom's dryer is electric and our new place only has gas hook ups. We decided that instead of buying a new dryer, that we're going to experiment with hanging up our laundry on clothes lines.

My observations so far:

I can't let laundry pile up since I can only hang three loads at a time.

It's time consuming. Oddly, I don't mind it very much. I fall into a rhythm and it becomes meditative.

Permanent press doesn't work without dryer. I'm going to have to start ironing my clothes. I'm going to have to buy an iron.

It makes me feel really green. We're saving energy!

The clothes dry surprisingly fast. I can't wait to see how quickly they dry when it's 110 degrees outside.

It forces me to pay attention to what I'm wearing. I have to handle each piece of clothing. I realize that I buy a lot more clothing manufactured overseas than I care to admit, previously, even to myself. I make an effort to buy American-made clothes. Yeah, Dov Charney may be (allegedly) a letch, but at least his clothes didn't come from a sweatshop. Too bad I'm too old for Dickies.

It reminds me of an expression my friend Liz P. uses: Amish Chic. I may not hand knit my baby's clothes, but I wash them in Mrs. Meyers and hang them on a clothes line!

Identify this object and it's yours.

2008-04-14T14:03:00.002-05:00

Identify this object and it's yours., originally uploaded by Yogini Jen.

This was in our storage shed when we moved in. We have no idea what it is.

WTF?

2008-04-14T13:59:00.001-05:00

WTF?, originally uploaded by Yogini Jen.

You had a baby

2008-04-14T12:26:00.002-05:00

Tom sent this to me earlier today. It reminded me of my friend Liz's cat Henry and this picture.

Powerleveling, FTW!

2008-04-13T12:03:00.003-05:00

So for the next few weeks I probably won't be blogging quite as often. I have a lot going on right now.

1. Tom and I recently moved in together and we are very busy unpacking
2. Mia's first birthday party is next Saturday
3. I'm looking for a job
4. We're getting married in less than three weeks
5. I have less than three weeks to get Shuniya up to level 70!

Lately, in the time that I usually designate for blogging I've been furiously questing with Evita or occasionally Lykaea because it would be mildly embarrassing to Tom, as Guild Master, to marry someone whose main is a (at the time of the writing) level 46. Oh the shame.

Back when Tom and I were just friends (secretly pining for each other) we used to play Diablo II together. I'd played a little WoW in the past but just started playing again with brand new characters once Tom and I started dating. I asked him what character would be most helpful to him. He thought for a few seconds, his eyes lit up and he said, "A Holy Paladin!"

So, if you don't see me blogging as often, that's my latest excuse. We're too busy spreading death and destruction.

Mommy in Bluebonnets

2008-04-09T17:02:00.002-05:00

Mommy in Bluebonnets, originally uploaded by Yogini Jen.

Taking pictures of babies and kids in the bluebonnets is a tradition here in Texas. Here I am posing for my first bluebonnet picture at around nine months.

Mia in Bluebonnets

2008-04-08T22:44:00.002-05:00

Mia in Bluebonnets, originally uploaded by cecily7.

Yesterday Mia and I met with Cecily for Mia's first bluebonnet portrait. We had so much fun playing in the flowers that I didn't even realize that we had stayed past Mia's bedtime. I had a very cranky baby on my hands when I got home. I think Tom is still a little pissed at me because of how long it took to get her to go to sleep.

But look at these pictures! It was so worth it. I've been looking at them constantly all day. Cecily calls them Mommy crack. She's right. I'm addicted.

This is a little dress Nana and Papa brought home from Oaxaca. Something about it reminds me of The Legend of the Bluebonnet, one of my favorite books when I was a little girl.

Check out more of the bluebonnet pictures here.

Happy Baby

2008-04-08T22:35:00.001-05:00

Happy Baby, originally uploaded by Yogini Jen.

Mia (covered with rice)

2008-04-05T10:19:00.000-05:00

Thanks, Cecily!

I'm asking for trouble

2008-04-03T20:11:00.010-05:00

I have been blessed so far with a remarkably easy baby. I have never deigned to give advice to parents of colicky or challenging babies. I don't take any credit for it. I don't think it's due to any superior parenting abilities on my part. I'm still a big fan of attachment parenting so if I were to take credit for any of her easy-going demeanor, that would be what I would attribute it to. But if at some point in the future we have another one, I'm certainly not expecting it to be this easy again. If it is, that's just bonus.

I was expecting the worst. I was studying for the bar exam when I was pregnant. When I was finally finished with the bar exam, I funneled that energy into reading infant books. I read a lot of baby books. Right before Mia was born I read a book written by an Austin writer who had a baby with severe food allergies. Talk about a challenging baby. Another book I read said that for the first week, just try to survive. For the first month, don't think you'll be able to do anything but take care of the baby. So, before she was born, I was expecting a newborn baby to be just about the hardest shit ever.

But it was surprisingly not hard. Not nearly as hard as, say, finals first semester in law school or taking the bar exam. Those were much harder. I'd have another baby before I'd take the California bar. Please, Tom, please don't ever make me move to California. Please don't make me take another bar exam. Please. I'm begging you.

In the beginning, I kept telling visitors, I don't want to jinx myself, but this is way easier than I was expecting. She never cries.

Now during those first few months, my life was hard. Being a single mom to a newborn baby was very hard. So, if it's pissing anyone off for me to talk about how easy my newborn was, just keep that in mind. If you want to compare griefs, I've got some big ones for you. Did I mention it was hard? But even that had a purpose. Since I did it alone for the first five months, I'm intensely grateful for Tom's help. But this is a blog post for another day. Back to my story...

The waking up to nurse every two hours was no big deal. I've never been a good sleeper. I wake up about that often anyway. It was actually nice to have something to do. I was so sad when she started to sleep three or four hours. I would wake up and watch her sleep. Nighttime has always been a lonely time for me. Having someone who needs me in the middle of the night feels good. I'll miss it when she doesn't need her nighttime snack anymore.

Nursing. Super easy. She was born. I put her up to the boob. She latched on. They've been best buds ever since. I would tell people who asked why I didn't give her bottles that I am way too lazy to make a bottle. (True) Maybe that's why she's being such a troublemaker at the boob now. Things even out.

That said, she is more challenging now than she has ever been. She still isn't a frequent crier, but she wants things. She wants the iPhone, the car keys, daddy's expensive MacBook. She lets us know how frustrated she is when she can't have them. She's highly mobile now so she requires constant supervision. Everything goes in her mouth. Open mouth, insert world. I walk into any room and instinctively scan for choking hazards. She gets bored more easily. Eating at restaurants is becoming more challenging. She won't let me feed her purees anymore except for banana and cereal. She wants to feed herself but she throws food. We have to give her one tiny piece of food at a time so she doesn't throw it all on the floor then cry because it's all gone.

But at the same time, she's more fun than she's ever been. Her face lights up when she sees me. She wants to show me things. She points at things then looks at me and smiles. She's experimenting with words. She's tries so hard to communicate with us. Sometimes I feel like a tour guide to a little alien. I'll be reading her a book and in the book there will be something she's never seen before, like a turtle so I'll explain what a turtle is. Then I'll take her to central market and show her the turtles. When we go on walks we talk about the things we see. "We call this a cactus. See these sharp points? We don't touch those because they hurt. One time when I was a little girl..."

I even take secret pleasure from her temper tantrums. I love that she is asserting herself. I love how expressive she is, how passionate she is. My psychologist friend is highly disapproving of this, but I can't help but laugh when she starts to throw a fit. It's just so darn adorable. But mostly I love it because more so than ever I know that she is fully her own person with her own wants, her own needs and her own agenda. She's already so strong. I can't help but beam. I am so proud of my fiery little redhead.

I spy daddy's wallet...

2008-04-02T15:10:00.001-05:00

I spy daddy's wallet
Originally uploaded by Yogini Jen

I love this picture.

I tend to take my wallet out and leave it on a table when I get home (or, in this case, Papa and Nana's house.)

I can't recall what I was doing at that moment, but I was busy elsewhere when Mia cruised on over to the end table and spied Daddy's Tasty Leather Wallet.

When I came back, Jennifer and Nana were laughing at how she had taken out the ATM, CC, and money from the wallet. I was warned this was only the first steps...

Movin' on up!

2008-04-02T12:16:00.003-05:00

"No crawling and boobing" indeed. When Mia gets really squirmy, Jennifer and I form the "Mommy & Daddy Sandwich". Mia is between us, latched onto the boob, and I snuggle my body up against her so that she can't do her Yoga-Arch and Complain routine. Sometimes I gently place a hand on her hips and another on her shoulder, to reassure and reduce her instinct to wiggle. Lately I've also been using my rocking-to-sleep chant of "It's sleepy-time, it's sleepytime..." (wait two beats, then repeat.)

Strangely, Mia hasn't been falling asleep at the boob much anymore. Sometimes she gets all wiggly, sometimes she just pushes away and says "dada dadadddaadadadaaaa". I take that as my cue to sweep her up into my arms, sneak into the nursery, and do the rocking-to-sleep dance. In the last few weeks I think she's fallen asleep at the boob twice? three times? I remember fondly when the Mommy & Daddy Sandwich would put her out in 8 minutes or less. Now it's 8 minutes or more of rocking. Which at least is good for me. Sometimes I can really work up a sweat. I'm sure it's good for my hips, at least. I hope that we can get a rocker/glider before Apple sends me away on business for a few days.

I've been up late the last few nights moving the remainder of my stuff from the Compound (my old house) to the Sunshine House (our new place! So exciting!) and I'm happy to be done and done and done with all of that. I have way more stuff then I had anticipated. A part of me wishes I had just moved out the electronic stuff and set the place ablaze. Think: more funeral pyre, less arson. I'm sure AFD would have understood.

oh, Hi blog! Long time lurker, occasional commenter, and now contributor! I've been reading Jennifer's blogs (and their various incarnations) since we met, ten years ago.

I have about a thousand adorable pictures on my iPhone that I need to load into Flickr so that I can blog those moments. That will happen one day. And by that I mean, hopefully before the wedding.

Boob wrestling

2008-04-01T20:01:00.002-05:00

She latches on then begins to kick her legs. She braces her fists against my chest and pushes away as hard as she can. She locks her arms. As she pushes away she increases the suction and bears down with her teeth stretching the breast to its limit. I wrap my arms around her and pull her close to my body. She kicks harder and pounds her fists against me. Her efforts thwarted she releases from the breast and lets out a pitiful wail of betrayal. She looks up at me with big sad eyes and relaxes into my arms. She latches on again, sucks contentedly for a few gulps, her body still relaxed, gazing into my eyes. I begin to relax. Sensing this she quickly pushes her hands against my chest, locks her arms and arches her back while sucking hard. I put my hand on the back of her head and push her head towards my body. She shakes her head and kicks her legs. Then relaxes. Repeat ad nauseam.

Breast feeding has turned into a wrestling match. Anyone else having this experience?

I can has eggs?

2008-03-30T22:52:00.001-05:00

I can has eggs?, originally uploaded by Yogini Jen.

Mia in the backyard

2008-03-30T22:51:00.001-05:00

dude, originally uploaded by Yogini Jen.

No Crawling and Boobing!

2008-03-30T20:43:00.005-05:00

An oft repeated refrain in our household these days is "No crawling and boobing!" Mia, no longer content to just lie in my arms or lie on the bed as we nurse, is constantly churning her arms and legs. She will try to roll over while the boob is in her mouth. She will try to stand up while the boob is in her mouth. She will turn her head and try to look at something behind her - while the boob is still in her mouth and she is holding on to it with teeth! Gone are the long, leisurely boob sessions as she gazed lovingly into my eyes. The urge to move is too strong.

She has recently taken a renewed interest in the boob. She doesn't nurse for long, but she wants a quick sip more frequently. At the grocery store yesterday she insisted on being nursed as I walked around. I was carrying her in the Ergo. I've never been able to nurse her in the Ergo the way that they suggest, but I have a sideways method that I use. Of course she didn't just latch on and stay there concealing my breast with her head. She would latch on, take a few gulps, yank her head back, look around then go back to the boob. So, a lot of H.E.B customers got to see my nipple.

A few months ago I was eating brunch with Tom and a couple of his friends at Enoteca. I was explaining that I had stopped using the hooter hider because half of Austin had seen my boobs anyway. I was referring to incidents like the one above but apparently the guy thought that I had previously been a stripper and raised his eyebrow at Tom. I have become so inured to boob talk that I hardly think twice about discussing my boobs with anyone. I have to remind myself that not everyone is as comfortable with my boobs as I am.

And speaking of body parts...

About a week after my period I started bleeding a little bit. I didn't think much of it since my periods have been weird since I got the Mirena IUD. After a couple of days of this I decided that I should investigate. I discovered that instead of the usual threads sticking out of my cervix I felt what I thought was the hard tip of my Mirena. I told Tom and he didn't believe me. He's been complaining since the beginning that the strings did not soften as promised and felt like fishing wire. What would have been a sexy game of doctor became decidedly not sexy when he too felt more than just strings. I then rushed to the Internet to read story after story about perforated uteri.

The next day I went in to see my nurse practitioner. She immediately confirmed it was indeed sticking out of my cervix and would have to come out. "Can't you just push it back in?" I wailed.

No, she could not.

I declined to have another one inserted.

I wanted to tell this story for the benefit of anyone considering getting the Mirena. On one hand, never having to think about birth control was awesome. And had it lasted longer, I wouldn't have minded shelling out $600 for it. As it was, I had it in for less than six months before it started to fall out. It would be an understatement to say that I am irritated about that. I might consider getting it again if insurance paid for it but there's no way I'm shelling out another $600 for one. If anyone has any questions about my experience with it, I'd be happy to answer them.

Triumph Cafe Patio

2008-03-13T21:53:00.001-05:00

Triumph Cafe Patio, originally uploaded by Yogini Jen.

I love this picture. Thanks, Cecily!

Duplex Joy

2008-03-13T21:29:00.001-05:00

photo.jpg, originally uploaded by Yogini Jen.

We just signed the lease on a duplex. Look how happy Mia is! We will be living together soon - our little, happy family. I think she could tell how relieved we were.

We really wanted to stay near Tom's current house. From there we can walk to Austin Diner, Phil's Ice House, Amy's Ice Cream and lots of other cool stuff. We had started to get anxious and depressed when we couldn't find anything nearby in our price range. I had started driving around watching for signs. Every place I found was twice what we wanted to spend. Then one day I found a sign outside a duplex just a street away from my good friend Ravyn. I called immediately and the realtor told me that there was a key inside the mail box. I went inside, looked around then called the realtor and asked if she was sure about the price. She double checked and said that she was. I called Tom and asked if he could meet me there.

Tom and I already had plans to go see another house that day, a house sandwiched in between two major roads. He said he could leave for lunch a little bit early and meet me at the duplex on the way to the other house. He liked it, too! I called the realtor back and said that we'd take it. Had we not found the duplex that day, we might have ended up in the sad house in the unfortunate location. Instead, when we went to see the other house we knew right away that it was not right for us.

It's not perfect, but for the next year it's ours. And any place where I get to make a home with my baby girl and my soulmate is perfect for me.

Bridezilla Part I

2008-02-08T09:43:00.001-06:00

It has begun. Planning this wedding is making me crazy. Crazy. First of all, we decided that we didn't want a long engagement, so I don't have much time. Second, we are working with an extremely limited budget so trying to find great deals on everything is a bit stressful. I have a baby and haven't even started paying on my student loans yet, so spending a ton of money on a wedding is not happening. Not happening. Period.

So far I've bought my dress, booked the venue, and found the officiant (Tom's best friend). Now I'm working on everything else. If anyone knows of a good and cheap DJ and photographer, please let me know.

Mia & Papa

2008-02-04T17:42:00.001-06:00

Papa Time, originally uploaded by Yogini Jen.

First smoothie

2008-02-03T13:04:00.001-06:00

First smoothie, originally uploaded by Yogini Jen.

Snuggle time

2008-02-03T13:00:00.001-06:00

Snuggle time, originally uploaded by Yogini Jen.

The loves of my life

2008-01-30T11:06:00.001-06:00

photo.jpg, originally uploaded by Yogini Jen.

I was lucky enough to fall in love twice in one year. They are my home.

Mall Disco

2008-01-28T11:37:00.001-06:00

photo.jpg, originally uploaded by Yogini Jen.

Lissa and I have decided to add some extra cardio to our mall walking.

JC Penny dance party

2008-01-28T11:18:00.001-06:00

photo.jpg, originally uploaded by Yogini Jen.

They are playing dance music at jc penny so we decided to have a spontaneous dance party.

Grass...WTF?

2008-01-27T16:52:00.000-06:00

Mia experiences the front yard for the first time.

More exciting developments

2008-01-27T13:38:00.000-06:00

We got engaged! I won't be a single mom for long. Woot! So far I've done the following: set date, secure venue, buy dress. Now I just have to do EVERYTHING else.

I bought a car! In an attempt to prolong my time as a SAHM, I'm selling my beloved but expensive Subaru so that I won't have to make a car payment. Instead, I bought a Volvo 850 since I could pay for it cash. I love the freedom of no car payments.

So, in the next few months I will be planning a wedding, finding a new place to live and finding a job. Should be exciting times.

I added Tom as a guest contributor to my blog, so you might get to read his thoughts from time to time.

Hittin' the bottle...er...sippy cup

2008-01-27T10:23:00.001-06:00

photo.jpg, originally uploaded by Yogini Jen.

Here we are again at Austin Diner. Since Mia was an exclusive boob baby, she never drank from a bottle. So, the sippy cup is a very new experience. I think she's getting the hang of it.

Austin Diner

2008-01-26T11:02:00.001-06:00

photo.jpg, originally uploaded by Yogini Jen.

Who slept like a champ last night? Mia! I won't say how long because I don't want to jinx myself, but I will say that I woke up with rock hard boobs. I haven't been engorged like that since the beginning. I woke up leaking and rather incomfortable. I wonder if that is what implants feel like.

Here we are having breakfast at Austin diner. That's my man Tom feeding Mia banana.

Blogging On The Go!

2008-01-21T09:21:00.001-06:00

photo.jpg, originally uploaded by Yogini Jen.

This is my first attempt blogging with my iPhone. If I can figure out an easy way to do this, I'll probably update my blog a lot more often. Mia is constantly on the move these days so I don't get a lot of computer time. If anyone has any iPhone blogging advice, I'd love to hear it.

Right now, I'm emailing pictures to flickr with my iPhone then blogging directly from the flickr website. The only drawback so far is that it took several hours for my emailed picture to appear on flickr.

I'm Back!

2007-12-11T12:22:00.000-06:00

Sorry that I haven't updated in awhile. There is a lot to report.

1. Still having some issues with PPD but each day it seems to get a little better. Though, some days are still harder than others.
2. Mia started eating solid foods! So far she's had oatmeal cereal, rice cereal, avocado, apple sauce, sweet potatoes, bananas and carrots.
3. Mia is cutting her first tooth!
4. I started dating. Dating with a baby is hard but totally worth it. He's someone I've been friends with for almost a decade and is someone I was already very close to.
5. Mia had her first studio photo shoot with Cecily. Is that a gorgeous picture or what?

Almost Crawling

2007-10-26T15:03:00.000-05:00

Sweet Pea is on her hands and knees, rocking back and forth, looking up at me and laughing. She's telling me that any day now she's going to be all over the place so I'd better be ready.

She's doing the fighter crawl, on her belly using her arms, drawing her knees up and scooting across the floor. She's becoming surprisingly quick. When I put down her favorite toy (a little piano) she'll dart towards it.

Sometimes she'll get on her hands and knees and using both legs launch herself forward for a faceplant. Yesterday she did this and landed face first on her zylophone. In the 1.5 seconds that it took for me to scoop her up and check for injury I imagined myself in the emergency room trying to explain why I had been so careless as to leave a metal toy on the floor for my six-month-old baby to land on. Luckily, there was no visible injury but I still felt like a lousy mom.

Sixth Month Check Up

2007-10-23T15:58:00.000-05:00

The Pea had her sixth month check up today and Dr. Ruiz was very pleased with her progress. She's hitting all of her developmental milestones on schedule. Dr. Ruiz said that she's happy with Mia's size since she's gaining weight steadily. We talked about starting solids and plan to introduce them pretty soon, starting out with one solid meal a day.

Here are her stats:
Length: 25 inches
Weight: 13 pounds, 12 ounces
Head Circumference: 42 centimeters

Chickens

2007-10-22T15:51:00.001-05:00

On Saturday we went to The Natural Gardener to get some dirt, vegetables and herbs for the winter garden. If you've never been, I recommend checking it out. It's a really neat place. Here is Mia eyeing the chickens.
Today Mia worked in the garden, enjoying the first cool day of fall. Behind her you can see the Bright Lights Swiss Chard, Fern Leaf Dill, Italian Parsley, Curly Parsley, French Tarragon and Florence Fennel.

Mall Day

2007-10-22T15:01:00.001-05:00

I never realized how convenient malls are until I had a baby. I'm certainly not the first to discover this. Lissa and I have been walking at Barton Creek Mall for a few weeks now and are in the company of many other mothers with babies. In this picture, Max and Mia have just enjoyed a snack in the nursing room at Nordstroms and are ready for another loop around the mall. Yeah, that's one thing the hike and bike trail doesn't have - nursing rooms.
Here are Max and Lissa. The mommies are about to enjoy their lunch at the Nordstroms cafe.

Zilker Swings!

2007-10-20T23:57:00.001-05:00

We went to Zilker this morning and for the first time, Sweet Pea tried out the swings. She loved it! Still too big for her, but she held on just fine.

Later we went shopping for jogging strollers. Not that I jog, but one would be nice for the hike and bike trail. If anyone has any advice, I'd love to hear it.

New Haircut

2007-10-18T20:17:00.000-05:00

I went to Keith Kristofer today and received a haircut from the lovely and talented Sunny. I told her I was feeling frumpy lately. She said, "Don't worry, I'm going to give you the porn star blow dry."

This is the sexiest hair style I've ever had. The only problem is since my hair style looks so fabulous now, it just highlights how not-fabulous my color situation is. I was thinking that I would just grow out my hair until it was long enough to cut off the colored portion - I'd really like my hair to be its natural color - but it's taking forever! So, I might just break down and color it again.

Dark brown? Red? Blonde highlights? Or cut it short like Katie Holmes? I mean, come on, that's one hot mom. So many choices...

Happy Birthday, Sweet Pea!

2007-10-17T20:55:00.001-05:00

Sweet Pea turned six months today! We had some delicious, fancy cupcakes from Whole Foods and since the Pea couldn't eat any, she got presents. She got a new high chair, some new fuzzi bunz, a bunny, an elephant, a ducky and a ring tower with little animal faces.

Loving it.

2007-10-12T21:27:00.000-05:00

I really liked playing with dolls when I was younger. Can you tell? I love, love, love baby clothes. I tried this outfit on her for the first time today and I just had to take a picture. It's a whole set with matching t-shirt, ruffled cami, pants and hat. We got it as a gift and I have to admit it looks pretty ugly on the hanger. I finally decided to try it on her today and just about died from cuteness overload.

If I had known I would have put it on her for our lunch with Liz P. yesterday - mmmm, Poboys at Gene's. Instead, she wore it to the baby expo thing we went to this morning. It was a lot better than the last one we went to, due in great part I'm sure to the fact that we showed up minutes after opening on the first day. We scored some fantastic designer brand baby attire and some toys that looked brand new. I also got a new sling and a bundle me. I wanted to call my preggers friends and tell them, but I think they've both had all the advice they can take.

Sweet Pea's Keyboard

2007-10-10T15:55:00.001-05:00

This is the keyboard that Tom gave SP. She loves it. Can't you tell?

Hooter Hider

2007-10-10T09:25:00.001-05:00

Jen's "Burka", originally uploaded by cecily7.

Can you tell how thrilled I am about using it?

More Celebrity

2007-10-09T21:56:00.000-05:00

Speaking of celebrity sightings, Cecily and I saw Kinky Friedman today while lunching at Triumph Cafe. The coolest part is as he was leaving he walked by our table, smiled and sort of waved at us. "Why did he do that?" I asked Cecily.

"I think I gave him a look," she said, smiling and shrugging her shoulders to demonstrate.

"Oh. Cool!"

For the first time ever I was able to stray from my all-time favorite, the tofu curry vermicelli and try one of the sandwiches. It was good, but not as good as the tofu curry. It's hard to try other things on the menu when I've already fallen for something so delicious.

This morning Sweet Pea and I went to the postnatal yoga class and got to see Lissa and baby cashew again. Yeah, it's not the most rigorous class around, but I can take Sweet Pea with me. If someone would let me bring her with me to a Mysore class and put her in a bouncer next to my mat, that would be the class I would attend. Until that happens, I'll stick with postnatal as long as I can. I'm just trying to make it as challenging as possible by working hard on the basic standing postures.

Past Haircuts

2007-10-09T06:45:00.000-05:00

The poll is complete and the plurality thinks that I should leave my hair the way it is. I'll probably just cut off a few inches for now and see if I can tolerate it. Whether I keep my hair long will in great part depend on how much more hair I lose. I still continue to lose a handful of hair a day. I am astounded that I still have any hair left. So, one of these past haircuts could be in my future.

For those of you who do not know, it is normal to lose a lot of hair after you have a baby.

Side note: I was in law school when these pictures were taken. That's why I'm so skinny. I'm NOT even CLOSE to looking like that now.

Indoor Trekking

2007-10-08T23:05:00.000-05:00

First day of indoor trekking with Lissa and baby Cashew. In the beginning we were in the company of geriatrics and young mothers, and not many in between. In terms of distance, I'm not sure how much we walked, but Lissa and I decided that we hadn't spent that much time at the mall since high school. I think it's so freakin cool, BTW, that I'm hanging out with one of my best high school buddies so many years later. And it's so cool that by coincidence we both happened to get pregnant at the same time. I've already experienced a lot of firsts with Lissa (first time getting drunk -- screwdrivers at her parents house sophomore year of high school, first time throwing a party that the cops showed up to -- house we were living at on Ave. H junior year in college) so it's so awesome that I get to share another first with her.

Later on, Sweet Pea and I met up with Tom at Whole Foods for delicious sushi, a yummy eclair and some grocery shopping. I had told Tom how much Mia enjoys pounding on my keyboard when I'm trying to type so he brought her very own keyboard. It's one of the old apple extended keyboards from my college days. It's making me nostalgic looking at it. Don't worry, Mommies, I know that it is not child appropriate so I won't let her play with it unattended, but when we got home I put it on the floor and she went crazy. She loves it. It's so remarkable that just from watching what I do, she immediately knew what to do with it. I'll post a picture tomorrow.

Be Cool

2007-10-07T10:46:00.000-05:00

Will I be a cool mom? Will I be smooth and confident when I talk to Sweet Pea about sex? Will I have the courage to answer all of her questions honestly? Will I use the real names, the clinical names that is, for body parts? Will I cop out by handing her a book? I hope not. I hope that I can maintain the same frankness that I have now. I hope that I'll be able to speak to her about sex like she's my very best girl friend. I hope that the thought of my baby girl having sex won't terrify me to the point of paralysis.

In any case, thank goodness for the internet. What was it like being a parent without it? I am listening to This American Life and they just did a segment about Sex Etc.. Thank goodness for wonderful resources such as this one.

You can download the podcast here

Happiest Baby on the Block

2007-10-07T05:41:00.000-05:00

She really is, and I didn't even have to use much of the information in the book. I was just telling a friend yesterday that I have no place giving any mother of a colicky baby advice since I had it so easy when Sweet Pea was a newborn. I don't take any credit for this, I think I just got really lucky. I don't think that I have any magic mothering skills (besides being a firm believer in attachment parenting). I think that some babies are just easier than others.

Not to say that every day is nothing but roses and sunshine. Yesterday we attempted to go out to dinner downtown with my parents. She did not want to be in the car seat and cried the whole way there. By the time we got downtown, we were all so frazzled by her crying, and the shortage of parking, we just turned around and headed home. By then she was screaming - face bright red, tears streaming down her face, fists clenched screaming. She was pissed. We stopped twice for a little comfort nursing only for her to continue where she left off as soon as she was placed back in the car seat. I was so stressed out from hearing her cry that I was on the verge of tears. We got home and ordered a pizza. Sweet Pea instantly transformed from frantic, screaming baby to smiling, cooing baby. She just looked up at me and laughed as if to say, "Silly Mama, I told you this is where I like to be!"

Americana

2007-10-03T11:01:00.000-05:00

I was watching Martha this morning when she had Charles Phoenix on the show. He reminded me of several of my friends (Liz P. for cool retro stylin', Cecily for photography and Ravyn for found art) so I had to pass his website along. I signed up for his slide of the week.

Cecily's Homework

2007-10-02T21:17:00.000-05:00

Today at lunch, Cecily told me that I needed to sign up for Google Reader and for Facebook. I still don't know why she wants me to do these things, but she's never lead me wrong. Done and done. Google Reader does seem to be pretty cool. As for facebook, Tom has already written on my wall, whatever the heck that means.

Speaking of Tom, he let Sweet Pea play with his iPhone last week. Like I don't have problems enough with my sister introducing the Pea to expensive product, now Tom is going to get my little diva addicted to expensive electronics.

And speaking of my little Diva, we had so much fun in the bath today. She's learning how to splash. I bought one of those baby tubs but it was a waste of money. I've only used it twice. It's been much more fun to take her into the bath with me. Afterwards, I massaged her with the L'Occitane baby balm. She smiled and cooed the whole time.

Update: Cecily! I just looked at Facebook and it appears to be 1. another project and 2. another online popularity contest. I trust you so I'll get around to messing with it eventually since you say that I should, but it looks like a huge pain in the ass.

p.s. if anyone is reading this on an RSS feed, look at my actual blog so you can tell me what to do with my hair.

Second Class

2007-10-01T22:22:00.000-05:00

As I expected, my second Ashtanga class was harder than the first. Physically, anyway. The initial adrenaline triggered by my fear long gone, I had only the muscles which were still sore from the last class to pull me through. My core strength seems to be the most difficult post-baby struggle. It's hard to explain, but it is as if part of my core is still disengaged. I try to engage it, but I just can't feel it anymore. Not the same way that I could feel it before. As I was struggling with headstand today I was thinking that it was like balancing a cooked noodle on one end.

But, oh, I am falling in love with Ashtanga. It's been so long it's like a new romance all over again. I'm just full of giddiness and warm fuzzy feelings. All the drama from the past is a distant memory. All I can see is our rosy future together. Yes, I know there will be pain and frustration when I am once again confronted with certain second series asanas, but I won't have to worry about that anytime soon. For the next few months (maybe more if I'm lucky!) I'll be skipping along the lovely primary series path. And maybe when the time comes for me to attempt second series once again I'll have the physical and psychological fortitude to approach it with grace, light, love and kindness.

It won't be a monogamous relationship. I'm still involved with postnatal yoga. Of course my love affair with Kundalini yoga, my longest yoga relationship to date, will continue. And there are so many other styles of yoga I've been meaning to experiment with.

I was joking with Liz P. last week that you can't throw a shoe in this town without hitting an Anusara teacher. I said this after running into my second former Ashtanga student who is now training to be an Anusara teacher. My only real experience with this style of yoga was probably about 4 years ago when I would go to my friend Kristina's classes - which were awesome. Some of my favorite people in the world are Anusara teachers and that's a pretty strong endorsement for me. If ya'll are into it, there must be something very right about it. So, that's definitely on my to-do list.

But for now I'm getting cozy with my old flame again. It's nice to be back.

I did it!

2007-09-28T20:58:00.000-05:00

I finally went to my first Ashtanga class! After months of procrastination, I finally made it. It was my first time at Seventh Street Yoga and the studio was gorgeous. I'll definitely be back. I got to practice next to my friend Liz P. Her asana practice is truly an inspiration. Her breath is so smooth and steady she must have an internal metronome. I am in awe at what that woman can do with her body. Even more so, I am in awe of her dedication. She's worked hard for that practice.

So how was it? Not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. It was the first time that I've practiced the entire primary series in over a year. Breath and bhandas? Forget about it. Vinyasas? Hardly. By the end I was crawling around on my belly like a worm. But I showed up and stuck it out. The hard part is over. I overcame my fear of stepping into that first class.

While I was in class, Nana and Papa took Sweet Pea to Huts and then to Whole Foods. By the time I was done with class, my arms were so tired I could hardly pick her up. I'm going to be hurting tomorrow.

Party Picture

2007-09-28T13:42:00.000-05:00

Here is a picture from the birthday party we went to last week. That's me, Sweet Pea and my Dad, aka Papa.

Today we had breakfast with Ravyn at Whole Foods. She has the cutest little pregnant belly. It takes everything I have not to rub it every time I see her. She is incredibly adorable. I can't wait to see what she looks like in 10 weeks.

Liz B. could go into labor at any moment. This is more suspenseful that Lost. I'm checking her blog constantly to see if anything is happening. I'm pulling for you, Liz! I know that you will have a beautiful, yogic birth because it is yours. Whatever birth you have will be perfect for you and little Hercules. I can't wait to read all about it.

I'm lovin' this baby boom! Sweet Pea is going to have lots of little friends to play with.

Yay Skwish!

2007-09-27T11:21:00.001-05:00

On Saturday, Sweet Pea and I went to our monthly playgroup with the mommies from our Bradley Class. One of the other babies had this toy and Sweet Pea fell in love with it. She kept trying to take it from the other babies if they managed to get it away from her. She was fixated. So, of course, when I told Nana about it she immediately went out and bought one. It is, hands down, Sweet Pea's favorite toy ever. We highly recommend it.

In case you are wondering, that's enchilada sauce from Mama's lunch on her foot.

Am I in Labor?

2007-09-27T09:12:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking a lot about labor lately since Liz has been talking about it in her blog. The big question is when will she know she's going into labor. Someone left a comment on her most recent post that said that she will know when it is the calm before the storm.

Now, I consider myself to be an intuitive person. Yoga has made me aware of any changes going on within my body. I felt Sweet Pea move weeks before most primigravidas do. I am generally an exceptionally sensitive person. However, to this day I can't tell you exactly when I went into labor. I don't feel like I was not in labor one moment and in labor the next. I think it would be more accurate to talk about labor as something that happened in the final week of my pregnancy, not final day. That epiphany, that instant realization, that "Ah, it is finally happening" moment never came. I never felt like, OK, the clock starts now. NOW I am officially in labor.

When I hear women tell stories about how long they were in labor I want to ask, how did you know? When you say you were in labor for 50 hours, what stages of labor are you including? Are you including early first stage labor? How long were you in active labor? How long were you in second stage labor?

I had a lot of practice labor, contractions getting increasingly stronger and more frequent in the last week of pregnancy, but on the afternoon of Saturday, April 14 the contractions changed. They became a lot more intense and for the first time painful rather than just uncomfortable. I started to time them with the contraction master. I'd feel the contractions mostly in my lower back. Sometimes I'd have them every ten to fifteen minutes for several hours and sometimes I'd go an hour without having one. I called Sweet Pea's father to tell him that something might be happening, but he wasn't answering his phone. That night I was able to sleep, but I'd wake up every hour or so with a painful contraction.

Sunday, April 15 was a lot of the same. Contractions no less frequently than every half hour but sometimes as often as every five minutes. The midwives had told me not to come in until I was having contractions lasting at least a minute every five minutes for at least an hour. There were several times on Sunday that I almost made that criteria, but then my contractions would slow down for an hour or two. My baby daddy finally called and I told him he might want to come over because I thought something was happening sooner rather than later. We went out for Mexican food at the the closest Mexican Food restaurant because I felt like it might be my last pre-mommy dinner. We had the most incompetent, stoner waiter ever and I wanted to scream, just bring me my queso - I'm in labor over here! The contractions were making me nauseated so we ate outside because I couldn't stand the way the restaurant smelled. I would eat a few bites, then lean forward for a contraction. Eat a few more bites, then have another contraction. I'm sure the people at the restaurant probably thought I was a crazy woman. Unless they were with it, in which case, it was probably pretty obvious that I was in labor.

Sunday night I didn't sleep because my contractions were never any slower than every 30 minutes and were often a lot more frequent. At one point they were more frequent than every five minutes, but then they'd slow down again. I think that most reasonable women would have called their midwife or OB by this point, but I was committed to laboring at home as long as possible. I knew that many c-sections occur because of failure to progress so I wanted to show up at the birthing center as late as possible to avoid this diagnosis.

Monday morning, April 16, I was already pretty tired. I'd slept fitfully on Saturday night and not at all on Sunday night. Monday morning and early afternoon was the same as Saturday and Sunday, with the contractions getting stronger and I was experiencing more back pain. By Monday afternoon the back pain was getting so intense that I was having some trouble standing up. It was when I had to call Baby Daddy to ask for help out of the bathtub that he said that he wanted me to go to the birthing center. I said it wasn't time yet, but if he wanted he could call them. He called, told them what was going on and they said they wanted me to come in right away.

I was already so tired I was hoping that they would tell me that I could go home and come back the next day so I could try to get some sleep. The midwife, Jean, examined me and determined that I was dilated to 6 centimeters. As she was examining me she was saying, "Oh wow, your cervix feels terrific. It's really soft. I bet your water is going to break while I'm examining you." As she said it I felt a gush of liquid. She gave me a pad for the fluid and sent me out to the parking lot to walk around to try to get my contractions regular. "You'll be having this baby by midnight," she said.

That, of course, did not happen. I would like to write my birth story again now that some time has passed and I've been able to process the situation from a little bit of distance. I've spoken with the midwives about Sweet Pea's birth, have done more reading and now have a bit more clarity than I did before. I have a different perspective now.

But I was just going to respond to the comment that you'll know when it's going to happen. I've always had trouble limiting the scope of my writing. Bottom line, I didn't see it coming and I didn't ever know for sure it was happening. If I were to do it again, maybe I'd know or maybe I wouldn't. No wisdom here. I'm just throwing spaghetti against the wall.

Indoor Trekking

2007-09-25T14:56:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, Sweet Pea and I met Lissa and her three-month-old baby boy, Cashew at the hike and bike trail for some post-baby blubber burning. (Yes, I use pseudonyms for all babies) We went early and did the 4-mile loop, but since we walked fairly slowly by the end we were dripping with sweat. In case anyone reads this blog who does not live in Texas, it is still sweltering here. We decided that until the weather improves that we are going take our walking indoors. That's right. We are going to walk at the mall. In an e-mail, Lissa wrote, "We'll have to come up with another name for it, 'cause that just conjures up images of geriatric women in sweatpants... not pretty and not us."

So, I was thinking Indoor Trekking? Controlled environment walking? Climate-controlled training?

The Spaghetti Method

2007-09-25T14:14:00.000-05:00

I remember in my Bradley Class the teacher asked what type of parenting style we were planning on adopting. I said attachment parenting - a method I am still a big advocate for. Attachment parenting just works for us. I'm all about co-sleeping and baby wearing. Our attachment keeps her happy and just seems so much easier for me than anything else I've read about. During the day she takes naps when she is tired. At night she lets me know with a little back arching and fussing that she's ready for bed (usually around 7 p.m.) and she sleeps until 6 in the morning.

One of the major reasons why I'm glad that I was able to have Sweet Pea in the birthing center is that I've never been separated from her. Since we started our relationship with her on my chest, it was easy to continue our relationship that way. I believe that it is because of this continuous attachment that I trust my intuition to tell me what she wants and how she is feeling. Since my parenting is intuition based, sometimes it's hard to elucidate why I've made particular parenting decisions. For example, my mother keeps asking me when I'm going to start solids. I keep telling her that we'll start solids when the Pea is ready.

Since I feel confident in my ability to parent based on intuition, I tend to experiment a lot. For me, parenting is like throwing spaghetti on a wall to see what sticks. I'll try something out and if it works I'll keep doing it. If not, I'll try something else.

So, if any of you new mommies out there are having any anxiety about your abilities to parent an infant, don't sweat it. Just use your intuition and your library card and everything will fall into place.

In postnatal yoga today, Jessica G gave us a mantra for class: I am the perfect mother for my baby, and my baby is perfect for me. In one of my yogic disciplines we are taught that the soul chooses its mother based on what it needs to learn in this lifetime. I remind myself of this anytime I find myself having anxieties about my abilities as a parent. I know that if I am quiet enough and still enough to listen, she will tell me what she needs.

peek-a-boo

2007-09-23T21:27:00.000-05:00

Sweet Pea loves to play peek-a-boo. I put her on my bed on her belly and quickly duck behind the mattress. Then I pop back up and make a funny noise or face! She laughs and laughs like it's the most hilarious thing ever.

And while I am on the subject of cuteness, I bought her halloween costume this weekend. I feel just a tiny bit guilty for not making a costume, but I don't sew, so that just isn't going to happen. Probably not ever. As soon as I brought it home I had to immediately put it on her. It was a hundred times cuter than I imagined it would be. I wanted to call everyone I knew to tell them how cute it is. I'm not posting any pictures until halloween, but I can't freakin wait. She looks so cute in it I should warn people so they don't go into cute overload.

No more fancy pants

2007-09-20T17:38:00.000-05:00

Sweet Pea has been exposed to a little culture the last couple of days. Last night we went to a birthday party for a friend of my dad. Papa wanted to show off his grand baby so the two of us got to tag along. For the party, they rented out Copa and Eliza Gilkyson played. I'd never seen her before so that was fun. It was Sweet Pea's first show. She seemed to enjoy it. Since it was a little loud we didn't stay the whole time, but papa took her up front and danced with her for a few songs.

Today, we took her to the Blanton. I thought since she enjoys looking at the pictures in her books so much that she might enjoy looking at the art. I wasn't surprised when she smiled and cooed at many of the paintings. I was surprised at how much she enjoyed the European collection since I'd assumed that she would have preferred the primary colors in the modern section. She liked the babies and the cherubs.

At the museum I got to check out how the college girls were dressed and be reminded of how little I think about my apearance before I leave the house. I don't wear outfits anymore. I don't accessorize. Unless you count a sling as an accessory. My thought process is more like this: Does it fit? Is is clean? Can I nurse in it?

When I go shopping I am invisible. I'm not so slovenly to be suspected of shoplifting but clearly not cool enough to buy anything in your hip South First boutique. I know the difference because sometimes I shop with friends. I have seen the way store clerks perk up when certain friends of mine walk in. I don't know how they know but they're right. I'm not spending $250 for a pair of jeans. I'm going to Last Call if I ever feel the need to wear designer jeans again. But something tells me that since I will never again fit into the 7 jeans hiding in the back of my closet, my fancy pants days are over for awhile.

fighting the baby blues

2007-09-16T21:28:00.000-05:00

First, thank you to everyone who sent me such nice e-mails in response to my last post. I'm happy to hear that I still have friends. Also, I didn't think that anyone was reading my blog, so that was pretty cool. And Donna is putting on her superwoman cape and driving all the way from Dallas in her fancy hybrid to cheer me up. My heroine! (BTW, this probably means I'm putting off Ashtanga until Wednesday. I mean, come on, the woman is driving all the way from Dallas to hang out.)

I just sent this in an e-mail to Ravyn and didn't feel like typing it again:

I told my parents how depressed I am/have been so they've been trying to keep me busy today. My dad is a fervent believer in the idea that all mental problems can be solved through physical exertion. So, first thing this morning we headed off to the hike and bike trail with Sweet Pea in the stroller. After that we had breakfast at El Sol y La Luna then went shopping at Whole Foods. Came home, collapsed and slept for a couple of hours. Woke up, had a late lunch then Dad coached me through a 30 minute power walk on the trail in the greenbelt. You should have seen us. He looked like he was talking a leisurely stroll and here I come behind sweating, struggling and gasping for breath. He's always been the athletic one in the family. He says the power walk is going to happen every day. I can't knock it though. It did make me feel better.

Odd girl out

2007-09-14T22:36:00.000-05:00

I have a fear that I will eventually be alienated from all my friends. My single friends will no longer feel they can relate to me because I'm now a mother. My married friends will have a hard time including me since I'm single. But so far, most of my friends are still my friends. A few friends dropped off the map after I got pregnant. Maybe they thought that I could only talk about baby stuff.

When I was very pregnant, maybe 35 weeks or so, I was having lunch with my good friend Donna when we ran into a couple of our friends from law school who joined us. Sadly, I couldn't keep up with the conversation at all. My focus had shifted. I was voraciously reading pregnancy and baby related material and was paying very little attention to state politics. I can't deny that my interests have changed.

Making Progress

2007-09-14T04:13:00.000-05:00

I just pumped and got three ounces. Slowly I'm getting better at this so I'm going to hold off on getting a fancy pump for awhile.

Sweet Pea has been out like a light all night long. Hasn't even woken up for a snack. I, however, have been awake since 1 a.m.

We went to Ravyn's tonight (last night) and did a meditation to honor the 120th day of her pregnancy. According to Kundalini teachings, that is the day that the soul chooses its parents and enters its physical body. It was a beautiful meditation. But for some reason it has me all keyed up. I don't know why because it was a very peaceful meditation. There were two other pregant women there besides Ravyn. Maybe I picked up on some of that pregnancy insomnia. I haven't had it this bad since I was pregnant. Ugh. Tomorrow is going to be rough. Maybe the pregant ladies are having a great night's sleep tonight. That would make this insomnia worth it. Wouldn't it be cool if you could donate a good night of rest to a hugely pregnant woman? I'd do it.

Pumping Sucks

2007-09-13T12:56:00.001-05:00

Since I'm planning on going back to yoga soon, I decided to get a breast pump just in case Sweet Pea needs a snack while I'm in class. Although if I plan my feedings right, she should need one. I should be back in time for her next feeding. With this in mind, I didn't want to shell out $250 for a fancy breast pump, or $50 plus $70 a month for a rental, so I just got the cheapie one. I know, I know I probably just wasted $32 bucks, but I'm going to work at it. Maybe with some practice I can get better. If not, I'm skipping straight to renting a hospital grade pump. I'm not messing around with any mid-range electric. I have several friends who bought an electric and are now renting pumps. I am getting slightly more milk with each attempt so I think I'm making progress. This pump would not work if I was going to be gone for more than a couple of hours at a time since I'm only able to pump an ounce per session. But since I'm only using it so I can go to a yoga class, I think it will be OK for now.

Still, it sucks. Literaly and figuratively. I can't stand the way it stretches the nipple out. At least when my nipples are in SP's mouth I can't see the horrible distortion taking place. I can't look when I'm doing it. Also, my forearm gets tired from the manual pumping. But the worst part is pumping for several minutes when nothing comes out. It's just so discouraging.

Back on the Horse

2007-09-11T16:27:00.000-05:00

On Monday, September 17th I will attend my first post-baby Ashtanga class. Yes, although I have thought of every excuse in the book not to, this Monday I will be in that class. Unless the teacher doesn't show up, in which case my first class will be Wednesday.

According to this article a woman should wait three months after giving birth before resuming a full primary series practice. On Monday Sweet Pea turns five months, so my excuses are starting to look pretty thin. Since I only have six more days to make excuses, I might as well start getting them out of the way.

Reasons why I should not go to that Ashtanga class:
1. I'm too fat for any of my Ashtanga appropriate yoga wear
2. I'm too flabby to be seen wearing anything tight, clingy or form fitting.
3. Hormones are making me hot. If I have to practice in a warm stuffy room I might pass out.
4. What if my breasts start leaking? Worse - what if my breasts leak while I am being adjusted?
5. I have no upper body strength. A decent Chaturanga Dandasana is out of the question.
6. I have no back flexibility. Urdvha Dhanurasana might make me cry.
7. I'm a nursing mother! I can't go 1.5 hours without drinking anything!
8. Did I mention that I'm fat?
9. I'm so tired. I don't think I have the stamina. Breastfeeding mothers are supposed to relax.
10. It's been so long that I've forgotten the series.

And the hardest part will be that I can't stand to be away from my Sweet Pea for a whole hour and a half. The good news on that count is that I doubt I'll be in class for near that long. I've never actually seen anyone get stopped prior to Marichyasana but I can see myself getting stopped much, much sooner when I am collapsed on the floor gasping for breath.

But, I wouldn't accept these excuses from anyone else so I'm going to stop accepting them from myself. I will be in that class.

yoga quiz

2007-09-10T20:47:00.000-05:00

This was a very silly quiz so I'm not too worried about the results. I don't really think that I'm a yoga snob.

I'm a Yoga School Snob!

A Yoga School Snob

If your yoga school had a grading scale you'd make straight As. You've found
a yoga style that resonates with you, so you devour every morsel of information
that comes from your teachers' lips and apply it to your practice. You've read
all the books, twice. You put your mat down in the same place in every class,
and your best friends are all the people who put their mats down beside yours
(they're yoga geeks, too).

But be mindful not to leave others out of your unique community. Beginning
students and followers of other yoga disciplines have a lot to offer, too.
Welcome them warmly, and keep an open mind about what you can glean from a
new perspective.

Take the Yoga Journal Yoga Snob Quiz!

People like babies.

2007-08-27T18:24:00.001-05:00

I've never, ever been approached my so many strangers as I have been since I've had sweet pea. People will walk across a store to see her. My mom and I decided that the top three questions that I'm asked are:

1. Where did she get that red hair? (My hair is reddish brown, but not red like hers)
2. How old is she?
3. Is she your first?

I've actually spent some time looking up the genetics of red hair in the hopes that I could come up with an accurate, succinct answer to the first question, but I'm still not sure how to answer it. I don't want to sound like a smart ass but I don't want to launch into a long explanation. So I usually just say that it's a mystery.

I don't know how everyone knows or why they assume that she is my first. Maybe just because I don't have another kid in tow. I'm definitely old enough to have had a slew of kids by now. Perhaps it's the sleepy, half-stunned expression.

Gloworm!

2007-08-23T13:29:00.000-05:00

I think I may be too old, but I know my younger sister had a gloworm when she was a baby. Apparently she loved it so much she wore it out. I had long forgotten about this musical baby toy until a recently when I hosted a play group. Sweet Pea started to cry so one of the other mothers pulled out her son's gloworm. Sweet Pea immediately stopped crying and became transfixed by its big glowing head. Do I even need to say what happened next? Nana (aka my Mom) rushed to Target and bought one.

Despite her past fondness for it, I doubt my hipster sister would allow my future hipster niece or nephew to be caught dead with a gloworn. It isn't trendiest toy around. But Sweet Pea and I love it. It calms her down instantly. Thanks, Nana!

I heart Ren

2007-08-22T21:12:00.001-05:00

While I was pregnant, and now that I'm breastfeeding, I've tried to stay away from chemicals as much as possible, both internally and externally. I used a lot of Dr. Hauschka products and I really liked and am still using DDF Organic Sun Protection. But the latest product line I am lusting over is Ren. My sister bought me the Multi-Mineral Detoxifying Facial Mask for my birthday.

I don't like that the line is pretty pricey, but I do like that the products are free of any synthetic fragrance, petrochemicals, sulfate detergents, synthetic colours, animal ingredients and parabens, glycols and diglycols (such as propylene glycol), PEG's, PPGs, urea, D.E.A, T.E.A, PABA and other synthetic sunscreens, aliphatic alcohols/hydrocarbons, phthalates, fumarates, amines, alkanolamines, synthetic AHAs/BHAs, polyacrylamide, metacrylate, elastomer, poloxamer, styrene, vinyl, polyquaternium, synthetic chelating agents, nylon, nitriles, nitrates, nitrosamine releasers, bromates, fluor, aluminum and alumina.

So for any of you pregnant or lactating gals out there, or anyone who just wants to avoid some of the above icky ingredients, Ren is worth checking out.

Stretch Mark Solutions, Baby Massage

2007-08-20T15:57:00.000-05:00

I have to admit that I don't really believe that there is anything you can do externally to your skin to prevent stretch marks. My research indicates that whether or not you get them is largely due to genetics. However, I still used stretch mark prevention products on my belly throughout my pregnancy and didn't get any stretch marks. I did get stretch marks on my butt, thighs and breasts where I did not use products. I am just one person, so this isn't conclusive of anything. With that in mind, I'm going to go ahead and review some of the products that I used. If you are too pragmatic to buy into their claims of stretch mark prevention, you will still appreciate their moisturizing effect on your tight itchy belly.

Since I'm no longer pregnant, I'm using some of these products for baby massage. Sweet Pea's Tia Karen, a self profesed product whore, gave her the L'Occitane Mom & Baby Balm. I think it's Karen's intention to turn her niece into a little Diva. Sweet Pea likes a nice long massage before bedtime. So, I'm also reviewing these as baby massage products as well.

Dr. Hauschka Blackthorn Body Oil
I used this oil almost exclusively throughout my first and second trimester. Later in my pregnancy I decided that I wanted something a little thicker and started to experiment with balms. The oil absorbs easily and has a great weight and texture. I usually prefer unscented products, but I loved way this smelled. It had a warm, herbal fragrance without even a hint of floral sweetness. I could wear it everyday without tiring of the scent. The biggest downside to this oil is the price. It's not the most expensive product on this list. It's the second most expensive. But if you don't mind paying almost $30 for 3.4 oz, this is a good product to try.

I haven't tried this for baby massage and I'm not sure about whether some of the ingredients are appropriate for a baby.

L'Occitane Mom & Baby Balm
Like I said before, my sister bought this for me. I say this because there is no way that I could justify spending this much money on myself. But other than the price, I have no complaints about this product. The texture is perfect. The word velvet comes to mind. It is unscented, making it ideal for baby massage and nice for a pregnant woman's heightened sense of smell. I absolutely adore this lovely, creamy, ridiculously priced balm. I love it so much that even though I could never justify spending this much on myself, I might be able to justify spending it on my baby Diva.

WiseWays Herbals Beautiful Belly Balm
If you're looking for a something with a rich, balm texture for a reasonable price this is a great option. It is a bit thicker and oilier than the L'Occitane, but for the price this is easy to overlook. Some might even prefer the richer consistency. It does have a strong scent, so I'd recommend smelling it before you buy it. It should be noted that it doesn't have any added fragrance, the scent is primarily from the Cocoa Butter. When I was pregnant if I was having a queasy day I found the scent off-putting, but on most days I liked it. Everyone I've asked likes the way this stuff smells. Next to the Blackthorn Body Oil, this was my most used belly product.

I also really enjoy using this for baby massage. I feel good about using it on her because it has no artificial ingredients. Since it is so rich it works very well for massage. It also absorbs completely without any oily residue on the skin. But I wouldn't use it on a newborn since I just feel that unscented products are best for newborns.

Palmer's Cocoa Butter Formula Tummy Butter
This is the cheapest product on the list so if you're working with a budget, this is a good option. The scent isn't as strong as WiseWays Herbals, but it was still a little stronger than I would have liked. The texture is pretty firm. To use it I would scoop a little out and rub my hands together until it melted, but after spreading it on I'd still have little lumps of unmelted butter on my belly.

It contains more artificial ingredients than any of the products on the list, so I don't intend on using it for baby massage. I have been using it on my heels and it works well for that.

Burt's Bees Mama Bee Belly Butter
This is my least favorite of the products on this list. The texture is thick but sort of watery at the same time and just feels creepy when I'm rubbing it in. It doesn't absorb easily. Also, it has added fragrance. Icky. I wouldn't buy this again.

Burt's Bees Mama Bee Nourishing Body Oil
When I was having a queasy day, I loved the way this lemon-scented oil smelled, especially since it has real lemon oil and no artificial fragrance. The texture is nice and it is much less expensive than the Blackthorn Body Oil, but it doesn't absorb quite as well.

It's not my first choice for baby massage since the lemon scent is rather strong, but I have used it and she seemed to enjoy it. I wouldn't use it at night since the lemon oil might be too stimulating but I've used it in the morning. But then my Mom asked why my baby smelled like lemon. I definitely wouldn't use it on a newborn.

Motherlove Birth & Baby Massage Oil
I never used this on my belly, but I included this because it's a fantastic baby massage oil. It's unscented, so it's perfect for your sensitive little newborn. I used it for labor massage since it came with the Motherlove Laborcare Pack. It's a nice, basic massage oil that could be used for a variety of purposes.

Tummy Lady

2007-08-19T20:16:00.001-05:00

I was at postnatal yoga today when a woman walked in wearing low rise pants and a t-shirt that stopped just above her naval. Her baby was six weeks old! I was on the verge of being consumed by envy when I realized her belly wasn't any more toned that the rest of us. My jealously was quickly replaced by admiration. To have the courage to show off her belly so soon after childbirth is amazing. I'm still wearing maternity tops just so no one will ever catch a glimpse of my postpartum tummy. Of course, there is no way that the hosts of the style intervention shows that I compulsively watch would ever approve of her outfit, but I think I'd rather feel that good about my body than get their nod of approval at this particular moment.