I'm trying to remember exactly what was happening at this time one year ago. I was at the birthing center. I was in labor. When I had arrived in the afternoon the midwife told me that I should be having my baby by midnight. At 11 o'clock I wasn't even close. It's amazing how quickly I have forgotten the details. I remember that it took a long time.
I have several theories as to why it took so long. They all might be true. One of them is that I didn't really believe that I was having a baby. I just couldn't picture it. I never had imagined myself pregnant. I had imagined myself becoming a mother but I never imagined giving birth to a baby. I just couldn't visualize it. Yeah, I was huge and I'd seen the ultrasounds. I felt the kicking. It wasn't rational.
There were two midwives attending my birth. I felt like they were watching me waiting for something to happen. I was watching them waiting for something to happen. I hadn't realized that I was going to have to make it happen.
I don't know if I could have done it on my own. After the first two midwives had given up on me and the two older, more experienced midwives arrived, took control of the situation and finally made something happen, I was shocked to discover that there actually was a baby. Shocked. I stared at her in utter disbelief. That beautiful being came from me? Is that possible?
And I fell in love for the first time in my life. Instantly. My entire world in one seven pound, ten ounce bundle. Suddenly, everything was different.
1 comment:
it's been a beautiful journey. Sometimes I look around and am simultaneously astonished at how lucky I am and grateful.
last night, I walked into the nursery while Mia was crying, and she pointed over to me. I rocked her in my arms and she fell quickly asleep.
You won't have to wait for something to happen the next time. You'll have your family with you and we'll make the magic happen together.
Post a Comment